Wednesday, April 9, 2008

excerpt from a message to one of my submissive admirers.

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I filled 2 dv tapes the night before last and my brain is leaking out my ears from all the editing I've done and still need to do.
I can't remember exactly what my response was to your message. I know I told ya a little about the direction I'm trying to go with the whole online domination thing. At first I was feeling pretty uncomfortable about playing any type of role. I wanted to be myself, but how could I fit into the financial domination role with my strong views on consumerism and greed? Well, I think I have all that figured out, due to some heavy duty thinking, and also some inspiration from a Chicago Domme I've been talking to - she's totally my sister from another mother, and it's great to have conversations with her because we teach each other and learn from each other. It's inspiring to me, in a business where so many women are so focused on their jealousy of others to find a woman like myself who wants to share ideas and make things better for the world, using the sex industry as a tool for empowerment instead of objectification.
It's hard to say whether taking this approach is going to work well for me in a business sense, but I can be happy knowing that I'm not pretending to be a greedy princess just to pay the bills. I'm glad to have made contact with you, because I know you understand where I'm coming from on this - hell, you wrote articles for Adbusters, so I *know* you get it. I hope that I can attract other submissive men and women like yourself instead of the ones who just want to see me be something I'm not and could never feel comfortable being.
I'd like to achieve the social, DIY, and earth conscious lifestyle that I want to live as opposed to most findommes who just want to live in luxury. FUCK luxury, I want to live in a yurt and grow my own food, and create art and music and whatever else I feel like doing. I want to fuck the system even more than I already do. I want my freedom to come about through the willing slavery of others. I want my slaves to feel like they have a purpose, I don't want to degrade them, I want to use them the way they want to be used, but not just for the sake of making them feel like shit. It's not in my nature to abuse people, and besides, I prefer the sensual aspects of BDSM over the abusive aspects.
So yeah, that's where I'm at. Business is slow, to answer your question, but until the last week or so I was slacking, anyway. I'm writing about some of this stuff in my new blog so check that out, cuz I'm updating it regularly. I could seriously spew about this shit for hours, a ton has been on my mind lately, as I'm sure you can tell. I think I'm going to publish this message in my blog as well, because what I wrote before was kind of cryptic and this is much more to the point.

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